This Week was International Women’s Day In previous years, it has passed me by without much of a thought, but this year was different. This year I experienced a ‘Women’s Day Christmas Carol’.
Women’s Past
Some nights back, when it was cold and dark and I was huddled on the sofa in my pajamas, I was transported to the past. The scenes reminded me of my parents’ photos of wild parties from when they were younger. My Mum always glamorous with her long legs and mini dresses, and my Dad always dashing, but when you look closer at the photos, somewhere in the shot, there was always a chap manhandling one of the women inappropriately.
I was watching Mad Men, set in the sixties and the story of a group of advertising men and their wives. As the story unfolds we see the sexist chasm that divides them. At first I felt incredibly frustrated for the women stuck at home while their husbands were out in the world. But then I began to really feel for the men too. The sexism stopped them from seeing the person their wife was and the social constructs hindered their relationships with their children.
I thought about my own relationship with my husband; we are best friends. We talk and debate on whatever the hot topic of the week is. Both have wonderful relationships with our children because we share the childcare. Most importantly though, we are both doing our own thing and carving our own way in this world. We are showing our son and daughter that men and women are equal.
Women’s Present
Some days later when I was working at the computer, I was transported to present day Mormon Middle America. The girl telling her true story was never sent to school and was put to work in the family business under the label of home schooling. She was only taught to read as an after thought. She talks about Polygamy and how as a Mormon she is supposed to agree with it but she just can’t. Her religion says that when she dies she will be one of many wives to her husband in heaven, reading between the lines I think she is getting out of that one by refusing to believe.
In poorer countries about one sixth of women share their husbands today, and polygamy is legal in 58 out of 200 sovereign states. Can you imagine, being the second or third wife? The constant power games and emotional testing. And incase you wondered, polyandry (a woman having more than one husband) is illegal in virtually every state of the world!
A Women’s Future
And then I was transported to a future where most women are infertile. A section of America has returned itself to a state of ‘old values’, women are no longer aloud to read and educate themselves, and those that can conceive have been rounded up and branded like cattle. They are shared out among the rich as baby making slaves. I’m sure Trump would love this future but I think we are on track for a brighter one.
International Women’s Day
When International Women’s Day came along, the past, present and future of women whirled me into an emotional melting pot. We have so much to be thankful for, living here and now. We can be our true selves and not just a caricature that someone has invented for us. This goes for men as well as women.
My friend told me the other day of a friend of hers who feels she has failed if she doesn’t manage to put a hot meal on the table every day. If you have this mind set, you need to stand up and pay attention. Equality is growing stronger every day, society is saying no to sexual misconduct and yes to equal pay. But it will only continue to get better if we are all present and we all think equally. As couples and as parents we are a team and we need to work together as such. Women’s work does not exist and mothers and fathers who perpetuate this myth are teaching their children a backward message. We’ve fought hard to get to this here and now, let’s keep moving forward so we create a women’s future our daughter’s can thrive in.
I want my daughter to have the very same opportunities as my son. If they have the same job, I want them to be paid the same. I want them to be loved and respected for who they are and what they stand for. I wish this for children the world over.
Now roll on International Men’s Day, the modern man has a lot to celebrate too. We can finally be friends! We are all people after all. Maybe one day we will simply have International People Day.
PS
And just incase you are wondering, the women’s past, present and future was inspired by Mad Men on Netflix, book and audio book Educated by Tara Westover and HandMaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, though I watched it on Amazon. All are brilliant and well worth a peek.
