One of my new year resolutions this year was to start keeping this blog regularly. I have, regular-ish.
But far more regular on paper than published.
More often than not I have half written a post and then begun to doubt myself. I wonder who will actually want to read the blog I’m in the middle of writing, and then I get shy and embarrassed and the piece (which was probably not so bad after all) gets abandoned to my ever growing pile of half finished ideas.
Truth be told, blogging is out of my comfort zone, it requires me to say what I think and write it down for people to read way after I have thought it. And what if I’m wrong, I change my mind, or my readers disagree? And surely I could say it better, more eloquently?
This is why I don’t have a tattoo. I love tattoos and I love photographing them, but I could never have one of my own because my tastes might change and what if the artist went wrong?
It’s not like a blogging idea, that I can abandon to my pile of papers. But then where does that get me…
I learnt two great sayings a while back, the first is that ‘comfort is overrated’ and the second, that ‘every master was once a disaster’. They are both wonderful reminders that none of us are instantly brilliant at what ever we set out to do. Brilliance takes time and commitment and the willingness to be rubbish for a time.
It’s easy to forget that when I first started PhotoBaby, I was constantly out of my comfort zone. I’d have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach before every photo shoot and every viewing and I constantly questioned my ability to do what I was doing. But I had a new baby boy who I had to provide a future for, so I got on with it and little by little my confidence grew and the discomfort faded.
I want this, I want to be a confident blogger. So I am making it my end of year resolution that next year I will blog regularly. I will to do it every week and I will finish the idea that I am exploring. I will publish whatever I create even if the daemons in my head are making me doubt the idea or how interesting my readers will find it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making a declaration to fill this space with any old drivel next year, I’m going to do my best to create a great blog, I’m just giving myself permission to learn by doing. And you never know, after I have written another 52 posts I may feel that I am a little nearer to master than disaster in my head and I may find this place a little more comfortable.
Eight years ago, I was lucky if I’d have four clients in a weekend. In the last twelve months I’ve had an average of twelve clients a week, that’s over six hundred photo shoots this year, and with them I’ve seen my photography skill level soar! Things happen where we focus our energy.
Next years diary is already fully booked for some weeks and weekends which is tremendously exciting. I’ll be sharing it all here and using this blog to explore the issues and recount the adventures I encounter along the way. Read all about it as I take my blogging and photography skills to new, uncharted territories.
Cheers to disaster, cheers to discomfort, have a very merry Christmas and a wonderful new year! x